Why Some Things Have to Go for Us to Grow
There are seasons when following God feels like gaining.
A new opportunity opens.
A prayer is answered.
A relationship is restored.
A dream begins to take shape.
We can see God moving, and it is easy to call it a blessing.
But then there are other seasons.
Something ends.
A door closes.
A relationship changes.
Something you were certain would work out…doesn’t.
God begins putting His finger on habits, priorities, attitudes, relationships, expectations—or even good things—that you’ve been holding onto tightly.
And suddenly, following God doesn’t feel like gaining.
It feels like losing.
Those are the seasons when we may find ourselves asking:
Lord, what are You doing?
Maybe the answer is something we don’t talk about nearly enough.
Maybe God is pruning.
Even Healthy Branches Get Pruned
In John 15, Jesus gives us a picture of Himself as the vine and His Father as the gardener.
He says:
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vinedresser.” — John 15:1 ESV
Then He says something interesting:
“…every branch that does bear fruit he prunes, that it may bear more fruit.” — John 15:2 ESV
Read that again.
The branch is already bearing fruit.
God isn’t pruning it because it is worthless.
He isn’t pruning it because He has abandoned it.
He isn’t even pruning it because nothing good is happening.
He prunes it because He knows what it can become.
And I think sometimes we misunderstand this in our own lives.
When God begins removing something, our first thought can be:
What did I do wrong?
But pruning isn’t always correction.
Sometimes it is preparation.
Pruning Can Feel Like Loss
If you have ever watched someone prune a healthy plant, it can almost seem wrong.
Perfectly good branches are cut away.
Leaves fall.
The plant may actually look worse before it looks better.
If we didn’t understand the purpose, we might wonder why anyone would cut something that was already growing.
But the gardener sees something the rest of us don’t.
The gardener sees what is coming next.
And isn’t that true of God?
We see today.
God sees what He is preparing us for tomorrow.
We see what we’re losing.
God sees what is making room.
We see the closed door.
God sees the direction.
We see something ending.
God sees what can grow when it is gone.
That doesn’t mean the cutting doesn’t hurt.
Sometimes it hurts deeply.
Sometimes God Prunes Good Things
This may be one of the hardest parts.
We expect God to remove sinful things from our lives. We understand that.
But sometimes God asks us to release something that isn’t necessarily bad.
A good opportunity.
A familiar season.
A role we’ve loved.
A dream we’ve carried.
A relationship that has changed.
A responsibility that once belonged to us but doesn’t anymore.
Even something God Himself may have used beautifully for a season.
And that’s difficult because we want to say:
But Lord, this was good.
And maybe it was.
But good for a season doesn’t always mean good forever.
Ecclesiastes reminds us:
“For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven.” — Ecclesiastes 3:1 ESV
Some things aren’t meant to be carried into every season of our lives.
And sometimes we hold onto yesterday’s blessing so tightly that our hands aren’t open for what God wants to do next.
The Gardener Knows Where to Cut
Here’s where trust becomes important.
A branch cannot tell the gardener how to prune it.
And we don’t always get to tell God what He is allowed to remove.
That’s uncomfortable.
Because we like surrender—as long as we get to decide what surrender includes.
Lord, You can change this…but please don’t touch that.
I’ll follow You…as long as You don’t lead me there.
I’ll trust You…as long as the outcome looks the way I hoped.
But surrender with conditions isn’t really surrender.
Proverbs 3:5–6 tells us:
“Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths.” — Proverbs 3:5–6 ESV
Our understanding is limited.
His isn’t.
The Gardener knows exactly where to cut.
He knows what is draining energy from the places where He wants fruit to grow.
He knows which attachments are keeping us from depending fully on Him.
He knows what distractions have quietly become priorities.
He knows where pride has taken root.
He knows what we are carrying simply because we’ve carried it for so long.
And He knows what needs to go before we ever understand why.
But What If I Don’t Want to Let Go?
That’s the harder question, isn’t it?
Sometimes we know.
We know God has been nudging us.
We know something needs to change.
We know we’re holding onto something too tightly.
But knowing and releasing are two very different things.
Maybe you’ve been praying for God to grow you while resisting the very thing He’s using to do it.
I’ve wondered how often I have prayed:
Lord, make me more like You.
And then complained about the circumstances He used to answer that prayer.
Because becoming more like Jesus often requires something in us to die.
Pride.
Control.
Self-reliance.
Bitterness.
The need for approval.
The need to have all the answers.
The belief that our plans are better than His.
Pruning isn’t only about what God removes around us.
Sometimes the deepest pruning happens within us.
Don’t Confuse Pruning With Abandonment
This is the part I hope you remember when life feels bare.
God’s pruning is not God’s absence.
The Gardener doesn’t walk away from the plant while He is pruning it.
He is actually closer than ever.
His hands are on it.
He is tending it.
Watching it.
Caring for it.
Preparing it.
And perhaps the season when you feel like God is taking everything apart is actually a season when His hands are doing some of their most careful work.
Jesus continues in John 15:
“Abide in me, and I in you.” — John 15:4 ESV
Notice what Jesus doesn’t say.
He doesn’t say, Figure everything out.
He doesn’t say, Understand why this is happening.
He doesn’t say, Fix it.
He says:
Abide.
Remain.
Stay close.
Trust the Vine.
Trust the Gardener.
The Pruning Has a Purpose
Last time, we talked about being rooted, not rushed.
About allowing God to grow deep roots before we demand visible fruit.
But sometimes, as those roots deepen, God begins cutting away the things that could interfere with the fruit He wants our lives to bear.
And maybe that’s where you are right now.
Something is changing.
Something has ended.
Something feels uncertain.
Or perhaps God has been asking you to release something you’ve been desperately trying to keep.
You don’t have to pretend it doesn’t hurt.
You don’t have to understand everything God is doing.
You don’t even have to see what’s coming next.
But you can trust the One holding the pruning shears.
Because He isn’t cutting carelessly.
He isn’t taking pleasure in your pain.
And He isn’t finished.
The same God who knows what needs to be removed also knows exactly what He intends to grow in its place.
A Gracious Living Reflection
What are you holding onto that God may be asking you to release?
Is there a habit, expectation, relationship, responsibility, attitude, dream, or even a good thing that has become difficult to surrender?
Instead of only asking:
“God, why are You taking this away?”
Try asking:
“Lord, what are You making room to grow in me?”
Then sit with Him long enough to listen.
Maybe what feels empty right now isn’t empty at all.
Maybe it’s space.
Space for deeper faith.
Space for greater dependence.
Space for new growth.
Space for fruit you cannot see yet.
Don’t be afraid of the pruning season. Stay close to the Vine and trust the hands of the Gardener.
Grateful for His grace. Gracious with His love.
— Living Life Graciously